Breakup Advice After I broke up with a college ex, my support network really helped. Even though I did not always feel like it, they assured me that I was making the correct decision. They texted me encouragement and let me vent. “Sometimes the right thing and the hard thing are the same,” for instance, a close friend texted. As it turned out, they knew just how to support a friend during a split.
According to psychotherapist Olivia Verhulst, LMHC, PMH-C, friends can help us feel seen, more hopeful about the future, and less alone in the moment while we are negotiating the end of a relationship.
According to therapist Jennifer Klesman, LCSW, author of You Can not Stay There: Surviving a Breakup One Moment at a Time, some of our people encourage us to stay single, while others pull us out of the house when we would want to sulk. However, there are countless methods to support a friend during a breakup.
According to psychotherapist Natasha Camille, LCSW, the best course of action if you are unsure of what to say or how to console a friend following a split is to find out what they need. You will be most helpful when you show up in a way you know they will like—rather than taking a chance. Maybe this is apparent.
If they are unsure of what they need, that is okay! Give them choices. Camille advises offering to drop off their ex’s belongings, cook for them, or have a phone conversation. These are all useful strategies for consoling someone till they reach a radical acceptance threshold.
We spoke with people whose friends knew just what to say to someone going through a breakup—and how to be there for them—if you are seeking extra motivation.
This is how they supported their buddies during Breakup Advice.
1. Send positive energy.
“Showing up at my place with ice cream and Kit Kats to binge-watch all the High School Musical movies with me was one of the most meaningful things a buddy did for me amid a difficult breakup. It offered me a reprieve from worrying about my ex and produced a pleasant recollection. —Jessie H., 27
2. Promote self-compassion. Breakup Advice
“I should give myself grace for not seeing warning signs in my relationship, according to a buddy I have known since college. It is unfair and unhelpful to believe that you should have known better or been wiser. I was able to let go of my sentiments of guilt and condemnation by forgiving myself. —Piera V., 35
3. Verify them. Breakup Advice
“The finest thing someone ever said to me was, ‘Sure, it will get better, but right now it just fucking sucks,'” if you are wondering how to support a friend during a breakup. Hearing this gave me the impression that they truly knew what I was going through, even though I was not ready to see the bright side and move on from my breakup because it was so recent. They were right there with me in the thick of things.
Read More: Dating Tips For Beginners 2026
4. Provide a secure area.
When it was too difficult for me to remain in my own place, my best friend let me use their guest room. Things that brought back memories of my former partner may be processed. It was the world’s most compassionate thing. —Anonymous, 27
5. Be there in person. Breakup Advice
“My closest family members continued to visit with no expectations. Before coming to see me, they would state that we did not need to discuss anything or do anything; they just wanted to be there in person. “The companionship made me realize I am not alone, anchored me in the present, and took me out of my head.”—Kristin, 43
6. Give them a chance to express themselves.
“They simply listened to me repeatedly and acknowledged how wounded, depressed, and heartbroken I was.” —Emily Y., 42
7. Refrain from passing judgment. Breakup Advice
“I enjoyed it when friends did not criticize me for having erratic emotions. Sometimes it changed by the hour, and having someone be patient with me was really beneficial. I went from wanting my ex back to never wanting to talk to him again. If no one is criticizing you, it is much simpler to navigate these ups and downs. —Therapist Jennifer Klesman, LCSW
8. Assure them that wanting something better is acceptable.
“I had just turned 21 when I experienced a breakup during my junior year of college. According to my sister, we can be utterly self-centered when it comes to the people we choose to spend our lives with. It helped me see that neither my ex nor I was in the best relationship, and we both deserved to be happy.
9. Be willing to assist them in any manner they require.
“Various needs were met by various friends. One of them helped me forget about the split as I sobbed to the other. I told that friend that by keeping my thoughts to myself, he was supporting me when he expressed concern. I could concentrate on something else with him. In other words, I believe that asking your loved ones what you need from them is the best thing they can do for you amid a split. Everyone contributes in different ways, even if it is not what you anticipate.
10. Assist them in clearing their minds. Breakup Advice
I felt like I was to blame for our separation on New Year’s Eve and that I should have changed to suit his demands and desires. My friends helped me overcome these pessimistic thoughts. They made me realize that I did not have to alter for anyone.
11. Give them room to decide. Breakup Advice
For a few years, I was in a toxic relationship. Eventually, my best friend told me, “I can not keep telling you to leave him because you will only do that when you are ready,” even though she had always supported me and helped me see my value. I am here to help you until then. At that point, I realized I was more than ready to leave, and I left him not even a month later.”
12. Promote self-discovery in them. Breakup Advice
“I felt really frustrated as I tried to figure out this new life after making a series of efforts at dating after the divorce.” According to a close friend, I had a terrible situation that gave me a fantastic opportunity to discover more about who I am. Those words characterized me after that conversation. I took a two-year hiatus to discover my identity and purpose in life. I discovered that I did not have to accept anything I did not want in my life and that I could love myself more.
13. Take up their new interests. Breakup Advice
“When my engagement ended fourteen years ago, I went through a really tough breakup. On weekdays, I was less aware of the loss, but on weekends, when I had more free time, I battled. My friends and family supported me throughout my sprint triathlon training, swimming, running, and riding with me. Along with my sister, I trained to walk eighteen miles to prevent suicide. She continued to do it with me so I would not be alone, even though we would have large blisters.
14. A solid hype session should never be undervalued.
“After going through a breakup a few years ago, I was incredibly self-conscious. I was reminded of how wonderful I am by my incredible friend, to whom I constantly turn for encouragement. I believe that many of us believe that when a relationship ends, we are left with nothing. But even though I was depressed, I knew that I would be alright when I recalled my own value.
15. Keep checking in. Breakup Advice
“People checking in, even months later, was the most beneficial thing for me when I was going through a breakup.” After any breakup, this is always the loneliest period because everyone else moves on. However, my friends and family are aware that pain like that never goes away. I felt like I was not bothering them when they continued to offer to talk about it.
16. Tell them this will not last forever.
“My friend once commented, ‘This too shall pass,’ following a split a few years ago. It may sound corny, but it helped me get over my self-pity. It helped me understand that even though the pain was overwhelming, it would not endure forever. The hurt lessens, yet it is not as if you no longer care about it.
17. Be available for them.
One of my pals encouraged me to blow up her phone when my partner ended our relationship three days before Valentine’s Day. She allowed me to do that with her because she understood how difficult it was to go from constantly texting your lover to not texting them at all.
18. Assist them in avoiding social media.
My twin sister advised me not to post about the cancellation of my engagement, and she and my friends urged me to simply avoid social media. This made it easier for me to understand that I owed no one anything and did not need to defend myself to others. Additionally, it shielded me from the negative content on the internet. In order to enjoy social media without being reminded of the past, I then started again with new accounts.
19. Create a plan.
We even went for walks around our apartment building to simply discuss my emotions while being outside, disconnected, and in the open air. Going on small outings together was a great diversion, and this was the best kind of medication.
20. Act as their immediate reply.
“Reminding me that this was a good option was the most beneficial thing my friends did after my breakup. They brought up things I had told them about my relationship when I was still in it, and it was satisfying to know that my friends still remembered this crucial information. They expressed their thoughts and reaffirmed the reasons I can support this decision.
21. Describe the wider picture.
“When my first and only committed relationship ended, I was crushed. In retrospect, I linked a large portion of my value to being with them. My friends and relatives told me that I avoided getting shot, which was the nicest thing. We broke up because we did not communicate well, which would have caused a lot of issues later on.
22. If they are interested in fate, remind them of it.
The most beneficial thing my mother taught me was that if things had been meant to be, everything would have worked out. Although it may sound simple, that concept kept me afloat! As I recovered, it remained with me.
23. Motivate them to continue living their lives (or punch crap).
“My best buddy understood exactly what I needed after a split with someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. We started by punching some hefty bags at a boxing lesson. Then, during dinner and a few glasses of wine, I expressed how my life seemed to have been put on hold just when things were starting to go well. I expressed to her my desire to move quickly past this uncertain time.
At that moment, she reminded me that my life was not on hold and that I should not spend it waiting for a miraculous degree of certainty that would most likely never materialize. That made me see things differently. We can not control what happens to us, no matter how hard we try or how well-intentioned we are, and when awful things happen, we can not wait for things to become better. We must continue to endure it. And sure enough, everything improved once more.